BLEACHY KEEN

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The unintentional gap year

wow, me again. Back to pester you with yet more ramblings you never asked for. You're welcome. x

Anyway, after my "I'm a vegan and I went to a march, look at me go" post, I thought I'd bring it back to something more self centred than selfless (as per). So, I'm going to give you, my one and only reader, more of an insight into what prompted me to start posting my ramblings on the internet. Of course, there's the explanation I gave in my first post, but there are, unfortunately for you, many layers to this story- mainly involving the fact that I dropped out of university after no more than a month (I'm the queen of consistency, as you can probably tell).

Now, while the act of dropping out was right for me, it led to the strangest 10 months of my entire life (more on this later. No need to thank me x). Thankfully, this time is now coming to an end, with 3 weeks left before I move to a new university, which, for the purpose of maintaining my personal privacy and to discourage my many millions of fans from breaking down the front door to my accommodation, I will dub 'shmardiff.'

I cannot wait.

Like I said, leaving my first university was definitely the right decision for me, but was also one of the toughest choices I've ever had to make; and coming to terms with the fact that I would be one step behind my high flying friends and that I'd have to get a mundane job that I had no interest in was also spirit crushing. So, flash forward 10 months and here I am, sat in Caffe Nero. I've finally left my job after saving enough money to take to university with me; met a great many fantastic people (all of which read this blog, I'm sure); I've become more independent; I'm better with money (who am I kidding? I'm still poor), and most importantly: I'm alive {barely- Thank you, blood poisoning x}


{special shout out to my mum for taking a whole host of embarrassing photos of me whilst I was literally unconscious in a hospital bed. Forever my biggest fan}


Anyway, I'm not usually the type to write a piece with a deep meaning as I tend to ramble too much for one discernible message to be present and constant throughout my work (I'm the same in real life, I'm afraid. It's impossible to have a conversation with me without being told the backstories to 4 other events at the same time), but if you were to take one thing from this particular rant then I'd love for it to be that trusting your own judgement is the best thing you can do in any situation. Almost everyone told me to suck it up and stick it out, that, despite anxiety, sleepless nights, and the death of my father shortly after I moved back home, university would work for me.

"It happens to everyone. You're all in the same boat."

Truth is, they couldn't have been more wrong; it doesn't happen to everyone. While it's completely normal to be sad and feel a little lonely, if you've got a gut feeling that something just isn't right then follow it.

So, I've only got 3 weeks until I move 200 miles away from home, and looking back on this year, a lot has changed. Not only am I now a vegan {10 points to me for successfully weaving this into yet another post}; but I've started learning Russian; I've grown very fond of cooking; even though I've not had the time to read as much as I would like, I've really focused on writing more; and, most importantly, I've learnt to embrace whatever it is that I'm all about, whether that's ugly clothes; kitschy music; or just being as happy as possible. Overall, while very draining, this year has taught me a lot and it's safe to say I'm a much better person because of it.

{Okay, I'll stop. You can all go and throw up now}.



see you soon, baboons. x


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